Recent Edits

Friends,

Those who pay attention to this site will notice that there have been some sweeping edits made to some of the postings and comments. Under threat of legal action, I’ve had to censor some thoughts that were publicized here. The changes are regrettable, but necessary in today’s litigious society.

We Say Goodbye to Our Friend

Dear readers and friends, this Wednesday, May 12, 2010, Denny passed away due to complications to ALS. Those of us who knew him will always miss him, as he was a lighthearted and generous spirit through it all.

“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” -unknown

Denny had true strength, the type that is rarely seen. ALS is one of the hardest diagnoses to face. But face it he did, and often with a smile on his face. I came to know Denny through a mutual friend, with the intent of documenting his struggle for all to see. But a time came when he wanted the camera left behind, and I came to see what I was missing when the camera was between us. My wife, with her own neurological struggles, was better for having known Denny as well. He was instrumental in lifting her spirits, and to help her face her own fears. He had every excuse in the world to curl up and hide from the world, but he still reached out to help her and share his optimism, because that’s just who he was.

Denny’s three daughters knew that they were the most important thing to him, and that he loved them endlessly and without reserve. All parents can learn from him – if we can manage to do so with our own children, all else will fall in line.

We will all forever miss Denny – he made all our lives better.

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” -Dr. Seuss

Message from Jackie

The following was written by Denny’s daughter Jackie:
I can fully agree with my sister because her and i say the same things to each other all the time granted she said it in a nicer way but i think its fucked up that you were all there when he could help you but when he needs us no one is to be found. Christmas is in three days and only a few of you can be here for him. It’s bad enough that he’s in a home for the holidays but for him to be alone is even worse. I know its hard but thats no excuse because if anyone knows how hard it is it’s us girls and we see him more than anyone and having to watch him go through this is even harder but we deal with it cuz we love him and appreciate him for the great life he has given us. I know he hates the fact that he cant do christmas like we used to together and the other simple damn thing is it bothers him that he can’t go out and help someone instead of getting help so no more excuses get off your ass and go see him b/c this is bullshit. it has been said by what used to be important people in his life that he wanted no visitors well thats not true and slowly but surely people are finding that out it was probably said so the underlying reality wasn’t discovered well lets just say they arenot important anymore they showed me their true colors my dad is slowly but surely writing something to put on here it will be in dennys words so for the people that knew them thank you those of you that are not he has gotten worse and we dont know how much longer he will be able to talk to us and noone wants to think about how long we will have him but all im asking is that you go to see him while you can still talk to eachother cuz i dont kno what we will do then there are people my dad would like to thank one is Kier if it wasn’t for him this site wouldn’t exsist. to Kier and his family thank you for coming into my dads life. Bill Hays and the company he used to work for they made it possile for him to get on the internet they have been so good to my dad and the people that do come in i thank you

So it’s almost Christmas…

       Last week Jackie and I went up and put a tree in his room. Jackie made him the home cooked meal he’s been asking for. This year I am planning on going and spending the night with him on Christmas Eve.

      The reason I am posting this on here is to ask anyone that reads this to go and see my dad on Christmas. I think it is a little messed up that before my dad got sick he would do anything for anyone and he seemed to have so many friends, but where is everyone now? Everytime I go and see my dad I check the sign in sheet and no one is on there to see him except the last time me and Jackie went up there. So now that he can’t go and help you do anything you can’t even bother to go and see him? Even if your busy you can atleast pick up the phone and call him. I see all these comments on here about how special he is and how many people love him, and yet, still no one comes to see how he’s doing? He’s not going to complain, but I know my dad, and I know it hurts him. If you can’t go and see him, atleast pick up the phone and call him. His number is the same. I’m not sure how many people still go on this site, but if you do, please don’t ignore this.

So no one has updated…

The site hasn’t been updated in awhile so I figured I’d let everyone know whats going on. My dad is now staying in Ridgewood Health Care Center. I’d like to say he’s doing alright but it’s kinda hard to tell. He may not be too happy with where he is staying, but he still keeps the smile on his face(and everyone elses). He may not want to hear it but he is better off where he is, he can get the care that he needs. But I must say living at the nursing home hasn’t stopped his partying, but I guess nothing could. He has been very strong and he loves visitors so go and see him sometime. My sister Jackie and I went and stayed the night with him the other night. We stayed up and ate junk food and watched movies and had a lot of fun. He had no clue we were staying the night and we really surprised him. It was great, it’s been awhile since I stayed the night with my dad. I don’t get to see him as much as I would like but I try to get up there at least once a week. He’s staying strong, like always, with a smile on his face.

My Dad by Megan Parsons

[editor's note: this article was originally posted by Megan on November 22, 2008, however due to an apparent site error, it was deleted. It's been republished here, verbatim]

My dad asked me to write on here and not to hold anything back, so I’m gonna try to do just that.  Since I was a baby my time with my dad was limited to every other weekend and whichever day of the week we were decided on at the time. I didn’t think much of it then, because it was all I ever knew.  But now I feel that I was cheated. I think it’s not fair that most of my sisters’ friends got to spend more time with my dad then I did.  I love to just sit down with my sisters and listen to stories about him (most of which are extremely funny) but it hurts a lot to know just how much I missed out on.  Its amazing how many lives he has touched, and will continue to touch.  Reading all the comments on this site proves this.  My dad has taught me so much, to write it all on here would take a life time.  One thing is that you have to work for what you want, nothing in life comes free, but he also taught me that this is a good thing.  What is anything worth if it’s just handed to you? What do you have to show for it, to be proud of? This implies for everyone, but some people just choose to take the easy way out, but they will pay for it later.  He taught me the value of respect.  He has taught me many more without even saying a word to me.  His actions speak for him. Sure he has made mistakes, but he wouldn’t be human if he hadn’t.

I remember the day he told us about his disaease.  He told us that he wanted to get all of us together and tell us something. Jackie and I were talking, and we had noticed something wrog with his hand.  We just thought that he had to have surgery or something and was overreacting, we really weren’t that  worried.  He told me to go sit outside with the kids while he talked to my sisters.  When they were done I saw Jackie walk out of the house crying.  That was when I knew it was something more than just surgery.  He came outside and told me about it. I really didn’t understand much he said at all, but I cried a lot. Later that night I learned he talked to me separate because he told them more details. Probably, thought I was too young to hear everything. Even then I was very mature for my age, and my sisters knew it, so they told me more. I didn’t really understand much about it at all until his disease started to progress. I pretty much learned from seeing it happening. All the stuff on the Internet was a bunch of medical crap that’s impossible to understand. Still though, I always thought that they would get a call from the doctor, saying that they made a mistake, that a simple surgery was really all he needed and our life would go back to normal. But no one ever called, and he only got worse.

In the past two years I have grown up so much, learned so much. Everyone takese things for granted, and at one point or another, we will always regret it. You really never know what you have until its gone. I never really thought much about the little things until this happened, but now I would give anything in this world to just wrestle around with my dad, have him give me a hug without having to strain to get his arms around me. My sisters are much more lucky then they realize. They got to grow up with him there all the time. I’m also very lucky that me and my sisters have a good relationship, we never really fought at all, therefore we can be there for each other, for if there is ever a time we need each other, it’s now.

These past two years have gone by so fast. Time is slipping by so fast, and yet, there is so much left unsaid, left undone. It seems like yesterday my dad and me were on our way to Michigan. When he could still walk on his own, drive, stil l had his freedom. But now only a little over a year later, he is confined to a wheelchair, and pretty much dependent on other people. Even though he doesn’t complain much about it, I know it hurts him so much to depend on people. He was always independent, even as a child, and now its like his life has been stolen from him. Its so unfair. Nobody deserves something like this. It makes you question everything you believe in. You get so messed up and lose everything you though you had. You never think something like this would happen to you. You see all these things on the news or in the paper and you thing “Wow that sucks” but you never really put any thought into it. Really whats the difference between you and someone that dies, gets in a car crash, loses a family member, loses their house? They all have family, friends, pets, everything that you have, so why couldn’t it happen to you? I think everything happens for a reason, why this happened, I have no idea yet, but something will come out of it. Good? Bad? No one knows. But I do know that I have learned thtings because of it. I’ve learned not to take things for granted, learned to make the most out of life, for you never know when something might happen. Everyone dies, my dad just has some kind of idea when. But in the process he must suffer, which is too unfair to explain. Like I said, he has made mistakes, but no mistake is bad enough to deserve a life like he has now.

It’s kinda funny, how when you learn something exists, you see it everywhere. For example, before my dad got ALS, I’d never even so much as heard of it, but now it seems to come up everywhere, in the books I read, the tv shows I watch, even in school, the were reading a book about it called “Tuesdays with Morrie”. Even though I’m not taking the class they are reading it in, I read it as soon as I heard about it. It was a very good book, and I recommend it for anyone that knows my dad. Morrie is a college professor that learned he had ALS in August of 1994 (Kind of ironic huh? I was born in one month after, and dad also learned he had it in August of 2006) the book goes through a series of “lessons” that Morrie teaches a former student (author of the book) Mitch Albom. They always take place on Tuesdays, and Morrie teaches Mitch the lessons of life and love. I read this book in about a day. It was very sad, but somehow made me feel good. Let me know that even though this is a disease with no cure, positive things can come from it.

My father has always been the strongest person I know, and no matter how physically weak he may be, he will always be the strongest, best man I will ever know.

The ALS Association Walk to Defeat ALS

Some photos from the recent event…

Denny lifts two wheels, showing that even with ALS he can make old ladies shake their heads.

Can you help out?

This is a guest-written article:

Hi Denny,

It’s your’ friend of the last 30 or so years. By the way I am part of the 7%. I have been by Dennys’ side from the beginning and intend to stand by his side until the end. Originally I never planned writing on this website, because I talk to or see Denny everyday. But a recent e-mail sent from him and a urgent need in his life changed my mind. The e-mail is entitled 7%.

A HOLY MAN WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH THE LORD ONE DAY AND SAID, ‘LORD, I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HEAVEN AND HELL ARE LIKE.”
THE LORD LED THE HOLY MAN TO TWO DOORS.
HE OPENED ONE OF THE DOORS AND THE HOLY MAN LOOKED IN. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM WAS A LRAGE ROUND TABLE. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE WAS A LARGE POT OF STEW, WHICH SMELLED DELICIOUS AND MADE THE HOLY MAN’S MOUTH WATER.
THE PEOPLE SITTING AROUND THE TABLE WERE THIN AND SICKLY. THEY APPEARED TO BE FAMISHED. THEY WERE HOLDING SPOONS WITH VERY LONG HANDLES THAT WERE STRAPPED TO THIER ARMS AND EACH FOUND IT POSSIBLE TO REACH INTO THE POT OF STEW AND TAKE A SPOONFUL. BUT BECAUSE THE HANDLE WAS LONGER THAN THIER ARMS, THEY COULD NOT GET THE SPOONS BACK TO THIER MOUTHS.
THE HOLY MAN SHUDDERED AT THE SIGHT OF THIER MISERY AND SUFFERING.
THE LORD SAID, ‘YOU HAVE SEEN HELL.’
THEY WENT TO THE NEXT ROOM AND OPENED THE DOOR. IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE FIRST ONE. THERE WAS THE LARGE ROUND TABLE WITH THE LRAGE POT OF STEW WHICH MADE THE HOLY MAN’S MOUTH WATER. THE PEOPLE WERE EQUIPPED WITHT HE SAME LONG-HANDLED SPOONS, BUT HERE THE PEOPLE WERE WELL NOURISHED AND PLUMP, LAUGHING AND TALKING. THE HOLY MAN SAID, ‘I DONT UNDERSTAND.’
‘IT IS SIMPLE,’ SAID THE LORD. ‘IT REQUIRES BUT ONE SKILL. YOU SEE THEY HAVE LEARNED TO FEED EACH OTHER, WHILE THE GREEDY THINK ONLY OF THEMSELVES.’
WHEN JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS, HE WAS THINKING OF YOU. ITS ESTIMATED 93% WONT FORWARD THIS. IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE 7% WHO WILL, FORWARD THIS WITH THE TITLE 7%.
I’M IN THE 7%
REMEMBER THAT I WILL ALWAYS SHARE MY SPOON WITH YOU.

fear, which is spelled f-e-a-r, stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real”.
for with God nothing shall be impossible. -Luke 1:37

The reason that I posted this is, that our friend Denny is entering into his own private personal Hell. His disease has advanced to the point that he can no longer use his hands for anything. We are desperately searching for some much needed assistance. If you have days off during the week, and would like to spend some quality time with Denny, then please give him a call. He needs assistance with common everyday tasks that we take for granted. The situation that he is faced with now, is that if we cannot get help during the work day he will have no choice but to be sent to a home/facility. Our goal is to keep him in his home as long as possible. But he needs all of his friends to pitch in at this point in his life.

If you are willing to share your spoon with Denny please call him or e-mail him at dmanwildchild@yahoo.com.

I know Denny has always been there for me and most of you. Together we can make this work to keep Denny happily at home as long as possible.

Thank You!

Some updated photos

I visited for a short while with Denny today to catch up on how he’s been this holiday season, and snapped a few more photos of his progression.

Denny needs two hands to open his pack of cigarettes.

Denny’s leg braces help keep him walking around the house without additional support most of the time. 

Denny shows how the progression of ALS has crippled his hands, and cause atrophy of some of his muscles causing them to sink in somewhat. 

 
A friend of Denny’s custom made him a cane that straps onto his wrist and gives a better handle for support than a traditional cane.

 
Denny shows off his new walker while talking about how he’s going to trick it out with some flame decals and such.

 This photo shows the laceration on the back of his head, suffered during a mishap in the house where he lost the strength in his leg momentarily.

Denny through Song

By Greg Allman – I’ll be holding on

I have lived my life my way For tonight and for today It’s the strongest hearts they say That always survive I’m fallen through the years As each dream it disappears When the night is full of tears
I’ll be holding on Now this life is instant black But I won’t be looking back The rain washed out the tracks
I’ll never find again I’m still reaching for the light I’m still wearing out the night And you know I’ll be alright
I’ll be holding on
When I stand alone I don’t stand on memories Of all the ones you’ve known
I’ll be holding on
I know how it is I know how it will be (When) All the rest are gone
I’ll be holding on
Well my life is made of sand It flows right through my hand Each day I make a stand
And I’ll see it through I’ll be reaching for the light I’ll be wearing out the night
And you know I’ll be alright
I’ll be holding on
When I stand alone I don’t stand on memories Of all the ones you’ve known
I’ll be holding on
I know how it is Cause I’m broken when I’m open And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away I know how it is I know how it will be
(When) All the rest are gone
I’ll be holding on.

By Iron Maiden – Wasted
From the coast of gold, across the seven seas I’m traveling on, far and wide But now it seems, I’m just a stranger to myself
And all the things I sometimes do, it isn’t me but someone else
I close my eyes, and think of home Another city goes by, in the night Ain’t it funny how it is, you never miss it till it’s gone away
And my heart is lying there and will be till my dying day
So understand Don’t waste your time always searching for those wasted years Face up…make your stand And realize you’re living in the golden years
Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind Can’t ease this pain, so easily When you can’t find the words to say, it’s hard to make it through another day And it makes me wanna cry, and throw my hands up to the sky So understand Don’t waste your time always searching for those wasted years Face up…make your stand
And realize you’re living in the golden years By Seether –Broken I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away I keep your photograph; Not know it serves me well I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away ;you’re gone away; you don’t feel me here anymore The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away